BAREBACKING WITH PARTNER HE DIDN'T KNOW WAS POZ
Obviously, since he is taking these medications, he is HIV poz, correct? I love my partner very much and there is a part of me that understands his not telling me. I don't think his family even knows. I am not going to address all of this with him until I have received my test results. I have made an appointment with my primary care physician for a check-up which will take place after I get my results. Is there anything else I should be doing with regard to my and my partner's health?
It sounds like you're doing all the right things for your physical health. And it is very sweet of you to be forgiving of his not telling you his HIV status because as you recognize, it is not something that is easy to tell another person for a variety of reasons (shame, stress, fear of rejection, etc.) You do need to take a closer look, though, of the issue of his having HIV and having unprotected intercourse with you without telling you. This has an affect on your relationship, both now and in the future.
I'd recommend you start talking about things as soon as possible, and keep talking. Your boyfriend may be relieved to know that you found out his status on your own, and be ready to have a frank discussion. Many men say there's a link between disclosing their HIV status and feeling good about themselves. This can directly affect one's health, too, including the progression of HIV.
If you need help finding the words to talk to your partner about this sensitive issue, you can contact the Partner Disclosure Assistance Program (PDAP) in San Francisco, toll-free, at 866-606-7327.
To your health,
TALKING TO PARTNERS ADVICE
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